Muse - “Uprising”

We start off in what looks like a decaying city where someone has just lit a fuse that happens to be running down the middle of a street, so right away you know we’re not going to a happy place with this one. The fuse burns past a few buildings, and you start to wonder why things look a little weird. Then we see a possible hooker standing next to a fire hydrant, and she’s a toy doll. Great. We’re trapped in the miniaturized, twisted art project of a dark soul with pyromaniac tendencies. Let the sun shine in.

Then we spy the band performing in the bed of a pickup that is slowly rolling through the gothic urbanity, with everybody wearing black so we don’t jack with the theme. They rock for a bit while we get more shots of this nasty place where plastic dolls are wearing trashy outfits and drinking beer around burning trashcans. Cut back to a close-up of the lead singer, Matt Bellamy, and in this shot he looks exactly like that one doctor (Cooper or some such) on Nurse Jackie, so I’m going to have focus issues from here on.

More shots of that long-ass fuse working its way to whatever. Based on the way that they don’t make any of the dolls pretend to be running, we’ll have to assume that the citizens are all bitter, tired people who’d rather just let the city burn and pick up the insurance check later.

Oh look, the band has apparently stopped for a picnic or something, because they’re sitting in a field while Matt croons the song. Zip over to a man doll sneaking up to a mobile home and taking pictures of whatever is going on inside. Based on the tawdry setup, I’m going to assume they aren’t baking cookies in there. Maybe muffins. Not cookies. Cut to the image of a huge bulldozer plowing up part of the neighborhood. What? You get you some slap and tickle in this town and they start tearing down buildings? No wonder people are leaving.

Next up we have the band inside… I don’t know what that is. The fuselage of a plane that crash landed because the negativity in this city is such a sucking force? While Matt wails, we get the first images of something furry possibly clamoring out of the ground. No real detail yet, but anything that unburies itself is probably not our friend. The long-ass fuse seems to be speeding up a bit, but we still don’t know the destination.

Wait, that might be a lie. It seems to be headed toward the mobile home. Just what are they doing in there? Jeez.

Cut to stacks of TV’s in the front window of an appliance store. The units are all showing images of teddy bears. Hmmm. Only one channel? Do these people not get satellite? Yet another reason to pack your bags and dig out the money you hid under the mattress.

Then we have the band walking by this store, and one of the members must not care for stuffed animals, because he uses his guitar to smash the window. I’m thinking anger management issues, yes? And a lack of concern for musical instruments. And probably a lack of female companions that stick around longer than a few hours. Just guessing.

The band sings a bit more on that truck.

Then more light-heartedness ensues as we watch a mob of blue-collar dolls burning a pile of teddy bears. (Why are these people so violent about children’s toys? Seriously.) Uh oh. Somebody didn’t really plan this very well, because the heat from the teddy torching is causing some of the doll lynch mob to melt. Whoopsie.

And those furry things clawing out of the ground? They’re teddy bears. Giant teddy bears who are really pissed off, flashing their fangs and waving their little arms in defiance. (Wait. When did teddy bears start having fangs? Did I miss a memo?) The band keeps playing and singing, instead of running like hell, so I guess they ain’t scared of no bears. Then again, the band is in a truck, so they can haul ass at a moment’s notice, with the assumption that a fossil-fueled vehicle can outrace mean things from a creepy toy chest.

Oh, maybe not. Did I mention that these vampire bears were big? Like, taller-than-buildings big. We might have an issue. Especially since some of the rampaging bears are doing things like ripping apart bridges and subway systems. I’m thinking they’re not here for tea and cucumber sandwiches.

As the video winds down, the army of jacked-up toys continues with their vision of urban redevelopment, and the band continues to emote very demonstratively from the back of that pickup. Then the truck apparently makes it past the city limits, and one of the super-sized bears falls down, his sugar-rush depleted.

Hmm. So what’s the message here? Muse has to leave town or our toys will kill us? We have to pick one or the other? Sigh. It’s just like that Sophie’s Choice movie…


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