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Monday, July 23, 2012

Gym Class Heroes, Neon Hitch – “Ass Back Home”



  We start off with lead singer Travie sitting on what might be a hotel bed, looking very sad despite the fact that he’s wearing a very stylin’ hat. Cut to Neon Hitch wallering around on another bed somewhere else, also looking sad, probably because some fool has painted the wall behind her a very ugly shade of red. Apparently the theme for this video involves depression and mattresses. Hopefully things will pick up a bit real quick, maybe after somebody orders some room service.

  Neon starts singing, which is a tricky thing to do when you’re flat on your back, and this inspires her to wander over to a window and Travie to go wash his face in the bathroom. But even being clean and having a nice view is not enough to offset the sadness, so they both go back to their beds and waller around some more. Maybe they need to call that room service guy back and make sure he’s bringing some type of alcohol with the cobb salad and fries that they ordered.

  Travie starts doing his part of the song, but it’s a little hard to catch what he’s saying because I’m distracted by what appears to be a stuffed monkey nestled against the pillow behind him. (There also appears to be a man playing a guitar while seated in a chair off to the side. Did he come with the room?) Then Travie starts doing something with his fingers while he wanders around the room, and we have a quick montage of the other band members being unhappy about having to do things like waking up in the morning and packing their suitcases.

  Meanwhile, Neon is still distraught on her own bed. She appears to be crying, but I’m not sure if this is because she can’t find anything decent to watch on TV or if the excessive amount of jewelry she’s wearing on her hands is preventing her from getting out of the bed. We cut back to Travie and the band gang as they are boarding a tour bus while carrying luggage that looks just as depressed as they are, followed by a phone call between Travie and Neon where he apparently says something that makes her throw her phone across the room so the maid can pick it up later.

  Then we have another montage, this one involving Travie being nice to some fans who don’t even look old enough to ride the big rides at amusement parks, Neon sitting on a couch and singing to one of the cushions, Travie rapping on the tour bus while wearing an odd red helmet that was picked out by a stylist who should be fired, and various band members standing around a swimming pool while wearing non-bathing attire and looking bored. This is starting to look like one of those foreign films where people do cryptic things, nothing makes sense, and yet the movie wins 700 awards at international film festivals.

  Next up is a bit with Travie rapping again, but he throws me by using the word “bogusness” and I don’t really catch everything that is happening. There’s something about a close-up of Neon, a potential drug deal, people talking with their hands, excessive use of bandanas, and Neon possibly finding a new lover on the urban streets of whatever city she’s living in while supposedly waiting for Travie to get his ass back home.

  Then it’s Neon’s turn to sing again, so she and her vibrant hair do this for a while as we get random images of Travie still being dissatisfied in his hotel room, travel shots of the tour bus driving down streets with no names, red barns and cornfields (are they doing a tribute to Green Acres?), interesting but out-of-context architecture, and Travie pounding his fist on an innocent window sill that is simply trying to hold the window in place and really shouldn’t be blamed for anything.

  Travie kicks off the bit where he just does some spoken-word poetry, once again on the phone with Neon, and you would think this would settle her down some, but instead she decides to climb on the roof of her building and start singing while wearing an outfit that you can only pull off if you have lots of hair that has been dyed a color that previously didn’t exist on the planet.

  This transitions us to some footage of a live concert where the Gym Class Heroes are rocking the house, mixed in with shots of the band members doing non-concert things like diving on a bed while wearing orange long-underwear and drinking beer in a bar where people still think it’s okay to do fist bumps. There’s also something about people playing cards, cars driving down other nameless streets, rapid-flicker shots of trees, fire escapes, more barns, a possible sighting of Simon Cowell, and fire-hydrant abuse.

  We wind things down with Travie driving a motorcycle up to the building where Neon is still twirling on the rooftop, her shimmery tresses blowing in the wind. Then she decides to run get some Chinese take-out, and she encounters Travie on the sidewalk. (Does he not have a key to her building?) As is the custom when pop stars return home from a tour, Neon greets her man by leaping up and wrapping her legs around him while the jaded New Yorkers passing by completely ignore them as they head to the deli for a nice pastrami on rye….


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