Okay, we start off
in some penthouse living room thing where people are watching…
Whoops, now we’re
not there anymore. Suddenly, we’re in some type of aircraft and the pilot is
either drunk or just very confused as we zip in and around tall buildings in a
large city. Then we start seeing jump cuts of the band getting ready for either
a show or some type of therapy. You never know with these music types. One day
you have a hit single on the radio and virgins are professing their undying
love because they have focus issues, the next day you’re in rehab and preparing
for your guest role on the latest series about “what happens to people who make
a lot of money too fast”.
Quick shot of a
shirtless somebody lying on some floor. Hey, where are his legs?
More crazy flying
through the city night. Brief shot of a half-naked couple being intimate. If
the producers are taking audience-participation votes, I’d say we ixnay the “Top
Gun” action and remain on the ground, even if it means more footage of people
we don’t know on the verge of procreating.
Finally, the flying
and the music settles down and we get to the opening vocals. We have a tight
close-up on the lead singer’s face, which is supposed to signify that he’s very
emotional and really into these words. It’s very soothing after the loud
craziness of the first thirty or so seconds, but I won’t be surprised if we’re
suddenly back on Air Force One and Harrison Ford has to do something very
heroic at just the right time or we all die.
Then we start
jump-cutting again, and we’re bouncing back and forth between the crazy plane
and people sitting around in the penthouse living room. Still not sure what
those penthouse people are doing. It’s very dark and they look bored. Maybe if
they turned on some lights they could see enough to realize that their party
host sucks when it comes to planning a festive evening.
Okay, now they’re
cutting in brief shots of a concert, so it’s about time for the big blow-out on
stage that most of these videos eventually get to. (So far, you can’t really
call this the most original video ever created, but at the same time, most of
these videos are “directed by” and “produced by” people who don’t know a single
thing about artistry and musicianship, so they go into management, just like
the real world.)
And then we have the
big “jamming on the stage” sequence just as the wailing chorus kicks in. The
camera is all over the place, naturally, to create excitement. Otherwise, it’s
just people standing there with instruments, and with today’s attention-deficit
society you have to have excitement and movement or many folks just doze off
due to their medication.
Shot of people at
what looks like a clinic, with guys hugging each other as they’ve apparently
just heard positive test results concerning something. Or maybe they just like
excuses to hug. It’s not my place to judge.
Now the band is at
some bar, where people are playing pool and smoking an incredible amount of
cigarettes. Oh, and drinking beer. They keep love-tapping their bottles
together so we don’t miss the beer part. And they’re playing foosball as well.
We seem to be having a party in 1978.
Back to the actual
concert footage, which is mostly in black and white, so somebody was at least
trying to be a little artistic. Those guys REALLY like doing the wailing chorus
bit, which is fine. It’s the best part of the song, and if we’d all
participated in the beer consumption in the previous scene, we’d be wailing as
well. And maybe even hugging.
More jump cuts. Bar
scenes with beer bottles, people getting in a snazzy red car, more intimacy,
another shot of the people celebrating test results at the clinic. Or maybe they’re
praying, not really sure. And now the snazzy car is racing around town. These
people have a thing for speed and blurry lights.
Jump cuts continue.
Shot of the desert at night, some dude doing push ups, more intimacy. Whoa,
some guy in the shower, didn’t see that coming. More speeding and blurriness.
Close-up of a guitar being played. Then we have some guy in his underwear,
because who can pass up a shot like that? That will be all over the Internet
within seconds, with less-endowed people using it as their profile pic on
skeezy dating sites where everybody lies because horniness makes you do stupid
things.
This montage continues
for a while. Blurring. Intimacy. People salting something. And we can see that
the bored people in the penthouse are still bored and we don’t know why they
can’t just get up and go somewhere fun. Has somebody issued a restraining order
that is forcing these folks to be in the same room even though they clearly don’t
want to be?
Finally, the music
all dies down and the lead singer is emoting the final lines of the song. Love
his interesting voice, but it sure looks like it is physically painful for him
to sing these words, his face all scrunched-up and such, like Nellie Oleson on “Little
House on the Prairie” when she and her horrid hair didn’t get her way.
Maybe he should go
visit that clinic where people get test results that make them happy. I’m sure
somebody there can help. Or at least give him a hug….
Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.
