Pink - “Who Knew”

  We start out at a fair/carnival thing, where people are walking around doing carnival stuff, while Pink gets ready to sing while wearing an interesting-choice green gown. We start seeing shots of a couple having a good time in that “they’re still so young they really don’t know what they’re doing” mode.

  Pink finally starts to do her thing, sporting a hairdo that is an homage to that one time Marilyn Monroe got her head stuck in a cotton candy machine. More shots of the loving couple doing moony high-school infatuation moves as they try out the various rides and act like they are hip and cool. One of these activities involves the two of them playing tag (don’t really remember that from high school) until the guy gets bored and decides to throw the girl over his shoulder so we can see her cute butt shoved at the camera. Ah, young love.

  Pink bursts into the rousing chorus of the song, so we have to watch her emote for a while, which includes her being really dramatic and pulling on the grass. (Quick shot of the girl offering the guy what might be a tortilla chip, and he turns it down, so I know right away that something is seriously wrong in this relationship. What teenage guy turns down food of any kind unless he’s unhappy?) Judging by Pink’s eye makeup, whatever the issue is, it’s pretty bad.

  Shots of the girl riding piggy-back on the guy, and he’s about to drop her. She’s laughing her head off like it’s the best time ever, so she might be a little simple. Whoops, there she goes, tumbling to the ground, and somehow their scrambling looks amazingly sexy. When you’re young, anything you do can look sexy, without even trying. When you get to be my age, even trying to look sexy turns into some violent-death scene on the Nature Channel, with gazelles running into trees and such.

  Pink and her hair are still singing, by the way, in case you were wondering.

  Cut to the couple on one of those rides where they spin you around in a circle. The girl seems to be having fun, but the guy looks like he’d rather be doing anything else in the world. This is another sign of relationship instability. What teenage guy doesn’t like to have his body whirled around by mechanical contraptions operated by people who sleep under bridges when the circus isn’t in town?

  Pink is back on the ground, pawing at the grass, so she must be feeling a little blue. Or she lost a contact.

  Shot of the guy putting a necklace on the girl. She thinks that’s really neat. Uh oh, what’s this? We’ve cut to the couple in a bedroom, with the girl dozing while the guy is shooting up. Wow. We just went from innocent teens to troubled addict, all in one verse of the song. This revelation causes Pink to spin around in circles while she’s singing. It causes the girl to keep sleeping.

  More scenes of rides whirling and people eating fried things.

  Now the couple is playing some type of carnival game. The girl must be doing really well, because she’s all perky. But the guy turns and stomps off. She chases after him, which is good training for later in life when she does the same thing in honky-tonk bars and men named “Buck” get an attitude. She catches up to him, but he wants nothing to do with her, shoving her away. Oh, no he didn’t.

  Now, normally in a Pink song, at this point the girl would be done with the jerk that doesn’t know how to treat a lady, and Pink would proceed to write a song that ridicules the guy to a thumping beat, but Girl realizes that something is just not right. (Other than Pink and her inspiration for that hairdo.) Quick scene of the Guy shooting up again, while the Girl searches desperately.

  The jump shots kick into high gear, with happy scenes of the couple in less anxious times, coupled with the Girl finally discovering the strung-out boy. (All of this narrated by Pink wailing the best part of the song.) Girl tries to get the Guy’s attention, but he’s way gone. She kisses him and puts her necklace on him. Then she turns and stomps away while we are treated to images of people drowning. (When Pink goes dark, she pulls out all the stops, yo.)

  Shot of Girl calling someone on a payphone, then sadly placing the receiver back on the hook. Minutes later, the Guy comes back to reality long enough to spy an ambulance headed his way. Girl wanders through the night, crying, most likely because of Guy’s tragic situation, mixed in with a bit of wondering if she can find a date for the Prom before it’s too late.

  Final shot is of Pink and her all-knowing eye makeup gazing wistfully at us, and then turning to her right for a dramatic closeup.

  Wait, maybe Girl can go with Pink to the Prom. Pink’s already wearing a fancy party dress, and you know she knows all the latest dance moves….


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