We start out at
what might be a farm, with horses, a young couple that enjoys gazing at one
another with barely-hidden lust, and an older man who is entertaining himself
by eating an apple in a canoe that is parked on the ground and not floating in
water. Then we jump to some soldiers in Civil-War era outfits shooting at one
another in the middle of the night.
What the hell?
Then we start to think about this helpful hint (how can you not notice gunfire
and primitive couture?) and we realize that everything in this video seems to
be taking place in the past, back in the day when folks were killing each other
over the concept of slavery and then writing folk songs about it. Okay, got it.
Then we’re back
at the farm, presumably in the barn, based on the hay bales scattered about.
Then again, these people might just be really poor and the hay bales double as
furniture, since the lusty couple is perched on one of them and pawing at each
other like they’re checking for fleas. Another shot of Apple Man, this time in
what we’ll assume is his room, smoking in bed (which is a no-no, hand-rolled or
not). Then we see the young couple dancing around in the attic of the barn,
which is what most people do after they’ve had sex on top of baling wire.
Suddenly, Apple
Man sits up in his bed, hauls out one of those old-school rifles with the “I
mean business” death dagger on the end of it, and he shoots a soldier way off
in a field somewhere. (Pretty good shot, eh? Especially since Apple apparently
shot through the wall of his house, presumably some livestock, and possibly the
barn, where Gidget and Jacob are still dancing because they’re young and
stupid, albeit sexually satisfied. Apple pulls on his uniform, followed by
Jacob, so I guess he’s been paying attention after all.
Cut to lead
singer Nate as he belts out the opening lyrics of the song, wearing a
slightly-military getup that has both blue and grey in it, so at least he’s not
taking sides. (Or he’s just confused.) He appears to be singing to a formation
of soldiers that includes Jacob, but the video keeps jumping around all over
the place so anybody could be doing anything at this point. The confusion does
not keep Nate from singing, of course, because there’s nothing like an
inspirational song to get groups of men all riled up so they can march in
formation and shoot things.
Then we roll into
the first round of that controversial chorus, the one that appears to have been
directly lifted from Simon and Garfunkel’s “Cecilia”. To distract us from the
similarity, the director gives us shots of the soldiers singing along, an
American flag being waved, and the band performing on a clever little stage
that someone has helpfully constructed in the middle of a field just in case
someone wanted to give a concert. None of
this part was in the original Simon and Garfunkel video, mainly because
they didn’t even make videos back in
that day.
Turns out that
Nate really likes this little stage, hopping about with enthusiasm as he sings.
(Or maybe he’s just avoiding stray bullets, a skill he might have picked up
when they toured Compton.) In any case, the perky drumming in the song
apparently inspires soldiers on both sides to start shooting the hell out of
each other, and they do so for quite some time because this is a really long
song and we need lots of things to look at to get through it all.
The song finally
calms down a bit, and we cut to Jacob bathing in a metal tub while still
wearing his undershirt. (Perhaps he was home-schooled and doesn’t fully
understand how to get properly clean.) He’s writing a letter, presumably to his
beloved since his scribbling is accompanied by images of Gidget looking
mournful but sun-dappled back at the farm, but he could just as easily be
applying for the first credit card ever invented.
Then the drums
kick in again and we’re back to the killing fields, with the band playing at
the first Woodstock while the folks all around them are trying to take lives
instead of take acid. Once again, the carnage goes on for a while, with the soldiers
alternately satisfying their blood lust and belting out the “Cecelia” chorus,
making the whole thing look a bit like a Broadway show that is trying to make a
political statement that rhymes.
We get to another
slow part in the song, so we kick off a montage of Jacob still in that tub,
somebody’s hand running along a wooden fence, Gidget holding Jacob’s letter
just like she’s apparently held everything else of his, Apple Man standing in a
field and looking for other places to eat fruit, and the soldiers gearing up
for the signal to make another charge against the enemy.
That signal turns
out to be Nate hitting those incredible high notes during that one bit, a sound
that would inspire anyone to start running and shooting. And we’re off again,
with drumming and mayhem and a lack of women in the military forces that won’t
be rectified for another century or so. This round of fighting gets pretty
intense, with all of that confusion where you can’t really tell who is doing
what to whom, which is what war is really all about, right?
Slow part of the
song again, with Nate getting wistful about his relatives and Apple Man doing
something with a horse, then the drums are back because the fighting is still
going on, even today, despite the supposed progress of modern society, which I
think is the message Fun is trying to send here. Or maybe they just really,
really like The History Channel.
No matter, the
battles continue and soldiers fall, something that starts to weigh on Jacob and
his still-wet undershirt. As the band moves their concert venue to the top of a
hill where they can see the spectacle a little better and create a nice visual
image against the smoky sky, Jacob watches the insanity around him and slowly
stops marching. Or at least he seems to do so, probably because that’s what I
would want him to do. Maybe I’ve listened to too many Simon and Garfunkel
songs.
The song fades
out while we cut to Gidget reading Jacob’s letter, a tear running down her
cheek, then we’re back on the battlefield for the last few skirmishes, with
Jacob shattering our illusion of his growing pacifism by firing the last shot
in the video. Then Scarlet O’Hara runs onto the set and throws herself on the
ground, wallering around in the turnips and babbling about how she will not go
hungry again and how hard it is to find a good facial scrub when the Yankees
have burned down the local Bath and Body Works…
Click Here to Watch
this Video on YouTube.
