The Fray - “Heartbeat”

  We start out with a few folks standing on what looks like a really cold beach, with the icy waves rolling in and the sun nowhere in sight. That doesn’t seem like a really happy beginning to a video, so luckily we switch to the band traveling along in a car. Everyone seems to be drunk, laughing and carrying on, so I’m definitely voting for Opening B, because you can basically deal with anything when there are adult beverages.

  The car pulls up into a parking area, with everyone piling out and lugging musical equipment down to the beach we thought we had escaped just a few seconds ago. Cut to a couple of women riding in the back of a truck. They’re trying to look pretty and everything, artfully draped in Native American blankets, but you can tell they are not impressed with the cold wind blowing their hair around. I’m guessing they really didn’t know what they were getting into when they answered the casting call.

  Back to the beach, where people are still lugging equipment and walking really far, so I’m guessing they messed up and didn’t pick the closest parking lot. A few of the fools decide it would be way fun to run splash in the cold water a little bit, even though you can practically see icebergs floating around. (That one guy looks like he instantly became sterile the very second the frigid water hit him.)

  More people show up at the beach, including the Poncho Twins, and everybody goes racing to wherever the band is heading. People are dragging coolers and sleeping bags, so this might be an Occupy movement of some kind, although the political injustices they are fighting are not really clear. (Every citizen should have their own beach? Rich people have too much sand in their cracks?)

  Suddenly, it’s night time, with the band performing on the beach near a really aggressive bonfire. Everyone looks very happy, so they probably did jello shots at some point. As the loving crowd sits around the band in a nature-loving circle, the camera focuses in on lead singer Isaac as he sings the lyrics and makes strained faces as he tries to get the words out. (Or maybe he’s just standing too close to that fire.) We also get some shots of the rest of the band, but they don’t look as strained and are not quite as interesting.)

  At 1:10 in the video, on the left, we are presented with the perfect example of a drunken frat boy thinking that the song and the band and the beach are all about him, doing a wobbly fist pump and nearly falling into the fire. A few of the people around him look more than happy to give him an extra push, should he need it.

  Now we’re in a slow part of the song, so we have a montage of the band members softly playing their instruments, the beautiful but deadly bonfire burning, and various people sitting around making life-long bonds that hopefully will be remembered in the morning. The editor also inserts some footage of people who seem to be in another place entirely, and it’s not clear if this was done just to help set the mood or if the drinking continued when they got back to the editing room.

  Isaac starts getting serious with the singing again, and we have another montage of people on the beach riding piggy-back, because what’s more fun than carrying someone on your back as you stagger through shifting sands, and shots of a girl with a now-questionable reputation being helped out from underneath a pier. Then it’s time for the chorus again, and all thoughts of sluts in dark places are forgotten as people run back to the circle and join hands.

  And that’s pretty much it, as the band continues to play, Isaac continues to emote rather strongly, and the sandy beach folk sing along, make out, avoid the death fire, and drink. There’s also some folks who attempt to dance, but attempt is the operative word here, as it looks more like they might be having mutual reactions to the broccoli casserole they had for lunch.

  Oh great, some fool has whipped out a box of sparklers, which is a completely safe thing to do, hand burning metal wands to drunk people and let them wave them through the air. Everyone has a great time with this bit, naturally, laughing and frolicking, because alcohol desensitizes you to the fact that your hair and clothing might be going up in flames. Oh well, we’ll just assume that somebody up in that mess has insurance.

  The madness continues with some of the party revelers taking off some of their clothes (not all of their clothes, of course, because it’s really cold and some of the guys want to avoid evidence of shrinkage issues) and racing into the icy water like there’s a prize at the bottom of the cereal box. This goes on for a bit, with half-frozen beautiful people getting each other all wet and showing off the fact that they clearly don’t have a single ounce of body fat.

  We finally wind it down, with the band finishing up the song, Isaac and his microphone posing dramatically near the fire that no one seems to be monitoring, and shiny, happy, wet people sitting around in a post-coital glow. As the camera pulls back, we see that one couple is standing far away from the death fire, wearing warm and comfortable clothing, and not drinking anything. These are the people you need to ride home with. Once you find your underwear…

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The Fray - “Over My Head (Cable Car)”

We start out at some really fancy prep school, with little boys wearing jackets and ties (because that’s natural), sitting in a classroom and looking bored. Then a bell rings, which is apparently the “Pledge of Allegiance” bell, because they all hop out of their seats and place their hands over their hearts. But instead of a rousing bit of patriotism, we focus on one boy who is instead singing the opening lines of the song. (Based on his facial expressions, he really likes saying the word “everyone”.) And hey, he looks a little bit like a mini-version of the lead singer, Isaac. How cute.

Cut to Isaac, all growed up and sitting at a piano. He’s also singing the words to the song, which shouldn’t come as a big surprise, he being the lead singer and all. (I’m not sure if he still enjoys saying “everyone” because they cut away before he gets to it, which is a little disappointing and sad. Will we ever know?) Then the camera jumps around as people are either setting up for a concert or preparing to carry out an execution using an electric chair. Quick close-up of Isaac’s face indicating that he’s not real sure, either.

Back to the prep school, where Mini-Isaac is still wailing away at the song instead of swearing dedication to his national flag. Then we have shots of the band performing and everyone is really getting into it, followed by a scene in another classroom. The kids here seem to be a bit older, but they must not be very smart because the teacher had to write the lyrics to the song on the chalkboard. Then the kids all leave because they can’t be expected to learn more than two lines of the song in a single sitting.

Now Mini-Isaac is walking down a school hallway, still singing, and someone has helpfully written the lyrics in giant letters on the lockers. (We also get jump cuts between Mini-Isaac and Maxi-Isaac, lots of them, just in case you hadn’t noticed that, you know, it’s the same damn person.) Then we have a nice bridge where everybody is banging away on their instruments and nobody has to sing.

Next up is Mini-Isaac peeking into what might be a lunchroom, where four guys are sitting around a table while one of them is pouring an excessive amount of salt on his food. (He’s going to regret that in a few years.) Suddenly, all four of them turn to glare at Mini-Isaac, causing him to wet himself slightly and then run away. Salt Guy goes back to playing with his condiments.

More shots of the band playing. In case you didn’t previously know that Isaac can play the piano, you will now, because the producers insist on showing us his hands tickling the ivories about 400 times.

Speaking of, now we’re back at the school, in a big room where they might be holding auditions for something, or maybe it’s a bomb shelter and there’s been an issue. Anyway, we have a piano front and center, and Little Isaac comes scampering in with a sheet of music and prepares to play. He is joined by one of his buddies and they both seem very excited about making music together. Oh wait, two other guys join them, which instantly makes them a real band, because that’s all you need to start one these days, four people and at least one musical instrument.

But instead of getting to the playing, the four boys crack each other up and giggle at cartoon figures someone has scribbled on the music. Kids these days. They have such short attention spans. The camera pulls back to show that none of the other kids are really doing anything important, either, so maybe this is one of those “progressive” schools where they throw all the students into a big room, let them do whatever and call it “creative freedom”, then charge the parents 50-grand a semester.

Now we’re in another classroom, where the kids appear to be taking a test. (Although, because it’s a fancy prep school, the youngsters might just be working on their parents’ income tax returns. Those forms are much more critical when you actually have money.) Anyway, Diminutive Isaac apparently didn’t bother to study, and he’s trying to cheat off his neighbors, but both of them are the goody-goody type that get pinched faces and hunch over their paper if you even glance their way.

Cut to Mini-Isaac walking down a school staircase all by himself. We don’t know if he’s been caught cheating and has been kicked out, or just has no idea where his next classroom might be. Next thing you know, Mini has turned into Maxi, and the big version is now sitting on those stairs, singing, and showing us that he has some amazingly-long legs. Then the producers jump cut between the two, with Big Daddy wailing and Little Bit walking out a door.

Which apparently leads to an auditorium, where Bit wanders down the aisle to stand in front of the empty stage. Mini-Isaac starts singing the song, and imagines himself in a packed audience, watching his bigger version and his buddies rock the house with their world-dominating killer single, with everyone in the crowd on the verge of orgasm.

The music fades as Little Bit bops his head to this very excellent dream where he is worshiped just because he’s in a band. And people with a salt fixation can never make fun of him again….

　
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