Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Enrique Iglesias, Pitbull - “I Like It”

  We start out with Enrique and Pit running up some stairs, heading toward what could be a nightclub, but could also just be Enrique’s penthouse in Miami. (You know that boy’s got some piles of cash laying around.) Anyway, they’re acting like they’re best buddies even though they probably just met five minutes before somebody turned the video camera on. They open the doors, and it looks like the party’s already started, because people are pogo-ing around the room like Muppets on crack.

  And sadly, that pretty much wraps it up for the whole video.

  Oh sure, you get to see different flavors of Muppets, and somebody turns on a big fan at one point for that windblown look, but really, it’s just people jumping up and down while Enrique and Pitbull sing about how much they really, really like it. Sometimes in Spanish, to prove that they’re bilingual and making it seem like there are more lyrics to the song than there really are.

  Pitbull wears his sunglasses the whole time, even though it’s night, inside a darkened bar, so he probably listened to that Corey Hart song as a child. Enrique spends a lot of time doing the same pose over and over, where he has his head tilted down and looks seductively at the camera, leering like he just had sex with the entire Florida peninsula. And yes, it’s kinda sexy, but really, Enrique, we got it the first time.

  Speaking of supposedly sexy, why do so many of the girls think it’s alluring to raise one of their arms over their heads while dancing, and then gaze at their armpit and lick their lips. This does nothing for me. Are there really people out there going, oh my God, she loves her sweat glands, that is so HAWT.

  At 0:26 into the video, one woman just barely keeps one of her breasts from flying across the room. I hope she’s okay.

  At 0:29, another girl apparently gets pulled up to the ceiling by her ear. She’s smiling, though, so I guess she’s having fun.

  At 0:43, there’s a very brief glimpse of Madonna doing a hair flip with enough force to cut glass.

  Amidst all this, people are still dancing in the throes of ecstasy, transformed into a religious frenzy by the power of the music. Most of them have their hands over their heads, including a lot of the guys. Interesting. Is that cool for guys to do now? Back in the day, the dudes had to keep their arms rigidly at their sides, or people would instantly know that you liked show tunes.

  Oh, and Enrique is still singing, not that it matters to these people.

  At 0:50, several very excited girls launch into orbit. They are now the responsibility of NASA. Houston, we have beaver in the sky.

  The successful lift-off motivates Enrique to do the same thing, but there’s an issue with the hydraulics and he instead flies sideways, sliding across a kitchen island and then poking a woman’s breast. Interesting that his finger didn’t stay there very long. Hmmm.

  At 0:54, Kelly Clarkson has the music in her.

  Then Enrique, still trying to gain altitude, starts walking on the back of a couch, which most decent folk would consider rude, but he gets away with it because he’s cute. Then he starts doing this anti-gravity thing, proving how weightless he is. (Now THERE’s an analogy for you.) I guess that mole he had removed weighed a lot more than we thought.

  At 1:28, Enrique briefly channels the Church Lady from SNL.

  At 1:39, Joan Jett has a cameo.

  At 1:47, Robert Palmer’s backup dancers make an appearance.

  Then it’s Pitbull’s turn to sing, and he announces this by doing a Charo howl. He starts rapping away, with his attitude never letting us forget that he thinks he is the sexiest thing to be discovered since Christopher Columbus misread a star chart. He climbs on the coffee table, so I guess domination over furniture is one of the few themes for this video.

  At 2:20, we start with several brief shots where Enrique is making hand motions that a woman should lift up her tight skirt. She basically does, hunching forward across the dance floor like somebody splashed Fresca on her kettle drum. Personally, I think Enrique got a whiff of drag queen and is checking the status quo.

  At 2:30 we learn that Enrique can sing really high for no apparent reason. The sound causes several Victoria’s Secret models to start bouncing on a nearby bed. Of course, the barely-clothed harlots soon commence with a pillow fight, because THAT’S never been done before.

  At 2:49, drunk people are playing patty-cake while riding on the shoulders of other drunk people. Another one of those mystifying activities that I just don’t get. Unfortunately, that seems to be the end of any new material, because the rest of the video is déjà vu, with people dancing in a sexually ambiguous manner, pillow feathers falling through the air onto oiled-up models wearing wristbands as bathing suits, and an inexplicable need to jump in the air as high as you can with your mouth wide open.

  Then Enrique finally leaves the club without Pitbull. (The assumption being that Pit couldn’t bear to part from the many mirrors on the dance floor.) Enrique doesn’t get very far, sitting down on the steps outside. Either he’s very tired after all the dancing and singing, or he’s so ashamed of this video that he doesn’t have the strength to go on.

  I think I’ll go with Option B.

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...