We start out with some aerial shots of some city at night, probably New York City, since nothing important ever really happens anywhere else. Then we cut to Mary in her fine-ass apartment, wearing a very flattering sweatpants ensemble as she walks to one of the designer windows in her living room. She leans her head against the glass and seems a little sad, probably still a little upset over the cancellation of “All My Children”.
Then suddenly she’s in what we’ll assume is one of her many bathrooms, and this one has a fancy medicine cabinet that you can open up and look stunning while singing a song. So she starts to do that, because you shouldn’t let such opportunities pass you by. We get a quick shot of the Chrysler Building, in case you’ve forgotten that we’re in NYC, and then we have Mary on one of her many beds, typing out the lyrics of the song on one of her many laptops, the glow from the screen accenting her poufy hairdo that only certain women can pull off with any sort of style.
We start getting flashbacks of Mary and what we’ll assume is one of her many boyfriends having some type of disagreement. (The boyfriend is played by Terence Howard, but to make things easier we’ll just call him Chuck.) It’s not clear what they’re fighting about (is it ever clear what couples are really fighting about?) but it’s bad enough that Chuck grabs his designer jacket and stomps out the door. We head back to the soundstage bathroom so Mary can break it down for us.
It seems that Mary and Chuck’s relationship started out fine back in the day. But then it was the next morning and things started to unravel. What went wrong? Well, Mary sings about it for a while in the top-shelf bathroom, and then she sings about it in one of her many living rooms, in front of what might be the largest fireplace known to mankind. She’s really upset and can’t sleep in one of her many beds because her man isn’t there with her. She keeps checking her phone to see if he’s called, which he hasn’t, but you’d think she already knew he hadn’t since she keeps checking the damn thing every two seconds.
Mary heads back to the designer window to sing an important part of the song where she needs to use her hands a lot to make sure we understand that it’s an important part. Then she cries a little bit, in an upscale way where she still looks very chic and stylish despite the tears. The liquid on her face triggers a flashback to another time that she cried, in a different apartment that isn’t nearly so Upper West Side. She’s lying on a fairly boring couch, looking a little blue and despondent despite sporting another hairstyle that could win awards if we had time for that.
Chuck comes in from wherever Chuck goes when it’s not his part of the video, and he sits beside reclining Mary so he can gently wipe away the single tear that is artfully perched in the corner of Mary’s eye. He tenderly kisses that same spot and they gaze at one another with a warmth and devotion that normally only happens on the Hallmark channel. Then we start flashing-forward to Mary in her newer apartment because it’s another important part of the song that requires hand-waving, and this time she throws in some “the words right are so painful that I have to close my eyes and brace my body against a designer window until I can control my emotions again”.
Oh, it’s time for another flashback and another hairdo, and for this scene we have a dinner party where Mary and Chuck and two hundred of their closest friends are seated around a dining table the size of Newark. Everyone seems to be having a swell time, so we’ll assume that Mary (or at least one of her many assistants) made the right menu choices. She and Chuck spend a lot of time gazing at one another with adoration and a possible side-dish of lusty thoughts. The guests continue to drink their wine and chuckle at one another, but really it’s all about Mary and Chuck maintaining eye contact across the mammoth table.
Now we zip to another flashback, one that involves a fancy car that Chuck has to assist Mary out of, probably because she’s wearing a sparkly dress with a short enough hem that she needs special handling or we might get a glimpse of personal business. They stroll up a red carpet while cameras flash, apparently heading into a glitzy ceremony of some kind. (Is this where Mary will finally pick up that award for her hair?)
Meanwhile, present-day Mary is still in her deluxe apartment in the sky, doing the “hands up” part of the song, and doing it in lots of her many different rooms, especially a new one that we haven’t seen where there are enough candles burning to make zoning-compliance people a little nervous. (Girl, don’t be whipping that hair around that room too much, there could be an issue.) Then the hands are down, and we have modern Mary sitting on that one ugly couch that I thought was from back in the day, but maybe this is just one big-ass apartment that has several different time zones.
Eventually we work our way back to seeing that argument again between Mary and Chuck, with what looks like some really harsh words and a general dissatisfaction with one another. He actually gets a little bit physical with her (which for me would mean instant walking papers for Chuck, but I haven’t had a relationship with him so I really shouldn’t say). We watch him storm out the door again while Mary looks tragic in one of her many outfits.
Now we roll into the part of the song where Mary is holding those powerful notes for a really long time, so we have to have another montage of Mary in all of her rooms as she holds them. Since it takes Mary a little bit to get all these vocals out, the producers throw in a few extra things for us to look at like Mary holding her head in emotional pain and two sad-looking candles that seem to be burning down to nothing. (Apparently somebody paid attention in film school on the day they studied “symbolism”.) We wind down this montage with flashbacks of all the flashbacks and hairstyles, followed by a closing performance in the designer bathroom.
We close things out with Mary opening her front door, probably expecting to see the delivery guy with Chinese food but instead finding Chuck with his key in the lock. He just looks at her with a sexy smirk, which is apparently all it takes for them to get back together, and he walks up to her and they embrace. The video ends with them clutching one another, and pondering which of the many rooms in the massive apartment they are going to sleep in tonight. Maybe one that they haven’t even seen yet? I’m sure there are a few of those…
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