We start out with
Carly Rae leaning on the front of one of those really tiny “economical” cars
which means the damn thing is not much bigger than a breadbox with wheels.
(This will probably play well in crowded European cities, where everything is
tiny and everyone drinks too much coffee.) She’s looking slightly bored, so
it’s good that suddenly some of her female friends come running up from
somewhere, acting all excited and wearing youthful fashion elements that I
don’t really understand. (WHY do you need to wear knee-high yellow rubber boots
in the city? Are you expecting to deal with plumbing issues in the near future?
Are you even trained for that?)
Anyway, they all
hop in the miniscule motoring device, looking incredibly cute in the way that
fresh-faced people in their early twenties look before they have to deal with
credit card payments and actually going to work every day, and Carly maneuvers
the car out into the street and down the road. Interestingly enough, there’s
another car leaving from somewhere else at the same time, this one a classy
vintage car that I certainly couldn’t afford in my early twenties, so I’m thinking a trust fund must be involved in
some way.
This vintage car
contains what I presume to be the members of Owl City. I’m not really sure,
since I haven’t met them and they refuse to follow me on Twitter. The guy
driving the car does seem to be the same one who had the crazy-ass bedroom in
the “Fireflies” video, so I think it’s all good. He starts belting out the
song, which further confirms him as someone of importance, or at least someone
who is both musical and can operate a stick shift. They drive along in the
countryside, with the other occupants obeying commands like “hands up in the
air” and “be sure to smile for the camera like this is the best time you will
ever have in your life”.
We briefly check
back in with Carly and Plumber Girls, and they seem fine, with Carly warming up
her vocals with a few runs, do we head back to the vintage car, where lead
singer Adam is continuing to warble and the passenger to his right is very
happy about her modified fishing hat. Since none of this is really important in
the overall scheme of things, we roll into a montage of the two cars traveling
the highways of America, because freedom’s just another word for being able to
drive away from some mess you might have created in the place you just left.
Eventually we
pull up to… I’m not sure what it is. Based on my youth in Oklahoma, the place
appears to be some type of rustic camp with crude cabins and a severe lack of
five-star amenities. The occupants pile out of the two cars and don’t seem to
be the least bit disturbed that a concierge is not standing nearby. In fact,
Carly finally launches into some actually vocals, instead of the cooing she has
done on the soundtrack up to this point. Everybody hugs each other and no one
seems to have a tragic story to tell about an unexpected pregnancy or a sudden
devaluation of their stock portfolios.
While the song
leaps into the happy-ass chorus, Carly manages to find a frozen-drink dispenser
hanging out of one of the cabins. There are no visible labels indicating
alcohol content, but with the way everybody races to get them some slushy
goodness, I’m guessing that spontaneous clothing-removal and blackout periods
are in the near future. But as we all know, as long as you keep singing while
obtaining refreshments, nothing seriously bad can happen.
Then everybody is
stomping away down some forest trail, with lots of people carrying things that
they didn’t put a lot of thought into before shoving said mess into a designer
overnight bag. (What do you need a Frisbee for? There are trees everywhere.
That bitch is not going more than a few feet and there is going to be
disappointment.) No matter, folks are still very happy (thank you, mystical
frozen-drink contraption) and they march along, paying absolutely no attention
to all those low-budget slasher movies where people who go camping in an
unprepared manner soon get attacked by
angry masked-men with Mommy issues.
There’s a brief
bit where Carly seems to be singing to a small branch that she managed to find
somewhere along the way. It’s really sweet, but you can’t help but wonder why
she feels the need to impress campfire kindling. But her little girlfriends
don’t care, trudging along and nodding their heads like her Twig Whispering is
a fine thing, indeed.
Cut to Adam,
because it’s his part of the song to sing, and although I’m sure he has
something really important to share, we can’t really concentrate on him because
suddenly some nymph goes running by waving a protest sign in the shape of a
butterfly. What the hell? (The nymph is also sporting one of those beaded
headbands that instantly disqualify you from being taken seriously in any way,
so girl has some really serious issues.) Then Nymphie runs off into the forest,
presumably to practice magic spells or rethink her wardrobe.
Then we get a
nice collage of completely unrelated events, like some girls discovering a lake
and deciding that they can’t live unless they rip off their clothes, join
hands, and then go racing into the water like they haven’t seen a million
horror movies strongly advising against such activity. There’s also something
about making jewelry out of flowers, Carly happily twirling around in what
might be a batch of mist or the results of a biochemical mishap, and Adam
wandering down a special path that might have inspired a bit of horniness,
based on the brief shot of nipple poppage.
Next thing you
know, it’s night time, which means that everybody has to set up tents and
wonder about the various sleeping arrangements that might ensue, depending on
energy levels and the continued availability of slushy drinks that make you
happy to have a body. (Interestingly enough, there are still people splashing
around in the moon-drenched lake despite our warnings, so we’ll just have to
quit worrying about them and let them deal with possible serial killers in a wetsuit.)
Oh wait, we just
jumped back to daylight hours for another round of Carly and Adam romping
through the woodlands and looking cute, so there might have been some
misunderstanding in the editing room. No matter, with a song this perky, things
like continuity and storyline are really not all that important. Then we’re
back to the nighttime campfire, where a low-key rave is going on, an event that
has inspired Adam to change into a shirt that reminds me of Soviet military for
some reason, and inspires everyone else to try and raise the roof with their
hands even though there isn’t one.
As everyone
bounces and sings and tries to avoid falling into the fire pit, we wrap things
up with another montage of just how happy people can be in the great outdoors
when there is perky music and an endless supply of people with
perfectly-straight teeth and designer clothing. (Somebody apparently passed out
some animal masks at some point, but based on the way that people are wearing
them on top of their heads instead of on their faces indicates that the mask
idea was only fun for about two seconds, then it became necessary to breathe
and stuff.)
The final shots
are of Carly and Adam looking tired but happy as they revel in the joys of
writing songs that allow you to invite hundreds of your friends on camping
trips, jump up and down repeatedly near an open fire, wear whimsical clothing
and footwear that really won’t be of much use if you truly had to survive in
the wild, and gorge yourself on roasted marshmallows because you’re still young
and you can eat anything without any biological impact. Life is good, yes?
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