Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Oh Land - “Sun Of A Gun”

We start out some place at night where there might be snow on the ground, but then we see these light bulb things sticking out of the white stuff and popping on and off to the beat of the music. We all know that water and electricity are not best buddies, so I’m fairly certain that the fluffy whiteness is something other than snow, possibly piles of that weird lint you find in your pockets after you wash your jeans.

We cut to some woman doing some localized shoulder aerobics. She seems to be very talented at this activity, but I’m not certain what the benefit or point might be. She’s also wearing a very creative black dress that seems to involve poofiness and bondage straps. We get a close-up of her face just as she breaks into song, and it looks like some eye-shadow specialist had a really bad, angry day.

The singer (Chloe?) can’t seem to remain still while belting the song, insisting on waving her arms about and playing some form of squat tag. (I hope she watches out for those light bulbs.) To keep our interest, she throws in a bit of skipping and something to do with making her dress flare out as she twirls and hops. She also likes to punch at the screen, which is somewhat intimidating, especially since we haven’t known each other long enough for her to get such an attitude.

Oh wait, here comes Chloe in another outfit. We still have the imposter snow and the hyperactive light bulbs, but now we seem to have a bit of daylight breaking into the scene. I guess the warm rays have put Chloe in a better mood, inspiring her to get rid of that severe makeup and quit looking like she has an intestinal blockage. She’s still doing that odd twirling business, though.

(What is she doing with her arms and fingers, shoving and pulling at imaginary things? What are they teaching kids in school these days? Do they have to learn how to weave baskets without any actual materials, due to budget cuts and too many release forms?)

Okay, Chloe really digs the chorus of this song, bouncing and high-kicking about with extra-special exuberance. Or maybe that fake snow is getting really hot and she’s just trying to keep her bare feet in the air no matter what it takes.

Oh, dang, now we’re back to Nighttime Chloe and her aggressive makeup. I hope she’s nicer this time. Now the light bulbs are hanging on cords from the ceiling, and I’m not sure what the intended effect might have been, but it sort of looks like a forest of halogen death. Oh, my bad, that wasn’t Nighttime Chloe, because there SHE is again, still prancing around in the midnight snow that isn’t. I guess we’ll call that third Chloe What-the-Hell, because she was gone before I could figure out what her problem was.

Nighttime Chloe is doing the shoulder thing again, and I guess she throws one of them out of socket, and we have WTH Chloe again, then, I don’t know, one of the Chloe’s wallering around on the ground in the fake snow, arms stretched over her head in some type of satisfied release.

Wow, Writhing Chloe is really getting into her performance, flopping around in the snow like you fully expect some fisherman to walk up and fillet her. (For those keeping score, a lot of the “snow” is sticking to Writhing Chloe and it’s not melting, so it’s official, we have some fake crap up in here. I’m sure we’ll all sleep much better tonight having finally determined the legitimacy factor of the snow.)

Well, then, apparently Daytime Chloe got jealous of Writhing Chloe having so much fun on her back, so she must have spoken to the director, and now both of those Chloe’s are in the World Cup of Back Arching and Limb Stretching. (Meanwhile, Daytime Chloe still has her other gig where she stands in front of the camera and pretends to row a boat that won’t move. She’s a multi-tasker, that Daytime Chloe.)

And it seems that the director was inspired by Daytime’s insistence that more than one person can be doing the same thing in this video, and now we have all the Chloe’s parading, twirling, rowing and flopping. Oh, and there’s an additional sport that’s been introduced wherein various Chloes manipulate their nightgowns whilst standing in front of giant wind fans. This is probably supposed to be the really artsy part of the video, because I have to admit that watching sheer nylon billow in slow-motion on the coast of an Arctic fjord is quite visually pleasing.

And that’s how we wind down, with the Three Faces of Chloe all performing the same dance routines while the camera jumps from one to the other. The featured centerpiece of this particular business is when they all do a modified backbend while signaling ships at sea that it’s okay to enter port. Based on how much all the Chloe’s enjoyed making love to the artificial snow, I’m sure that port is going to be very busy for a long time…

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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