Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Maroon 5 - “Makes Me Wonder”

We start out at some airport, where Adam and the gang are busy walking around and looking stylish. They’re either departing or arriving, it’s not really clear and not really important. They’re walking down a gangway, with a woman wearing a tiny dress at the other end. She and her nonexistent hemline are standing under a soft pink light, so this must be Bordello Airlines.

Cut to the band performing somewhere, possibly in a terminal, although I’ve never seen one look like this, where supermodels appear to be the only other humans and all the shops look like stages where ABBA would perform. Then we’re inside an airplane, where a flight attendant wearing another one of those dresses made out of wristbands is serving drinks. I’m not sure that I want to drink something that glows on its own, but I seem to be the only one troubled by this.

I guess this is a private charter, because all the other passengers don’t exist or have been killed and stored safely away in case there’s any turbulence. It’s just the band sitting in the seats, and the traveling tramps serving nibbly bits while wearing enormous, silver-heeled shoes. (By the way, we do keep cutting back to the band performing, but we really don’t care about that angle and can just let it go.)

Adam gets up and struts around the airplane while singing the song, because any time there’s at least one other person in the room, he considers them an audience and therefore he must sing. Sadly, no one seems to be paying any attention to him, so I’m sure there will be harsh words spoken at the next band meeting. We even get a close-up of Adam eyeballing the overhead compartments, with him wondering if there’s anybody trapped in one of them that might want to hear his song.

Next up is Adam standing at the start of this really long moving sidewalk thing. He’s snazzily dressed and the whole area is bathed in dim pink and purple lighting. (Where IS this swanky airport? Is there a cover charge?) The camera pulls back and we can see that slide walk is extra-special long. (Aw, hell, is he going to sing the whole way down it?)

Oh, it looks like he’s going to have some company, because we see some other flight attendants for Bordello Airlines stepping onto the moving sidewalk as well. (They have to do this very carefully in those tiny skirts. Take too big of a step, things will ride up and we’re going to see cooter.)

Cut back to the terminal and the band playing, and we get a brief glimpse of what might be a very chesty female pilot. A few of the band guys eye her hungrily, perhaps hoping that she’s flying their plane. With that much ballast, there’s no way the plane will sink if they crash-land into the ocean.

And Adam is still on that damn walkway. Could be days until he gets to the end, who knows. But at least he has his music and the pretty, alternating pastel lighting to keep him company. Oh, and his fancy umbrella. Because you really need one of those in an airport where you can’t actually go outside.

Brief shots of the supermodels doing mundane things in the terminal, like talking on payphones and gazing lustily at the band members and walking. Why are there no ugly people up in this grill? What happened? (And somebody needs to tell that one extra with the red sash that she doesn’t need to be in every scene. Stop it.)

A plane lands, but nobody does anything about it. I guess the main focus here is that people see you walking around in your designer outfits, not the actual transport of un-pretty civilians.

Now we have Adam going through security (why they are making him do this after he’s already walked all over the airport is anyone’s guess), with three lasses wearing S&M trench coats assigned to inspect Adam and make sure he’s not sporting something that might interest them. They all seem to be carrying very large cattle prods, so they might have wandered over from the dairy farm down the road.

In any case, the three Frisky Friskers leave no molecule of skin untouched on Adam’s body, getting very intimate with their wands and their hands and anything else they can use to check his crevices and special spots. This goes on for quite some time, so we’ll assume that everyone was having a swell time with that mess, and that they all had to smoke a cigarette when they were done.

We head back to the middle of the terminal for an extended sequence of the band playing. Not much new going on here, just people looking pretty and checking to see if other people are noticing them be pretty. Oh, and the keyboardist (and his startling hair) has invented his own line-dance that he’s very invested in performing, probably a flashy bid for attention after all those years of people staring at Adam and not him.

We start getting shots of planes flying off into the sunset, which is our signal that it’s time to wrap things up. The band plays a bit more, the supermodels work it on the terminal runway, and the chesty pilot is still wearing her uniform proudly and sashaying about. Which is kind of sad, because that was her plane we just watched flying off to who knows where. Those people are in for a big surprise, eh?

We close out with Adam asleep on the plane, him and his designer sleep-mask nodding gently while the girls of Bordello Air tidy up the liquor bottles…

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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