Okay, folks, this one is basically a straight-on shot of the band performing, with a few pretty lights thrown in, making it a little tough to bring the funny. So we’ll just make crap up…
We start out with a light board whizzing by, then we began to focus on the band, playing the song in front of a giant billboard of… them performing. Except that it’s nighttime with the live folks and daytime for the video people. Deep, huh? Another light board whizzes by as if to confirm that, yes, we spent a lot of time trying to be clever, thanks for noticing. Would you like some ginseng tea while you watch?
Here comes lead singer Brandon, snaking his microphone cord along and belting out the song, then up pop the rest of the members and we got it goin’ on. The drummer seems especially excited to be here, bouncing around on his little stool like he drank all of the sugar milk from his cereal bowl. I can’t really report on one of the guitar players because he insists on running around a lot, but he does have a healthy dose of hair, good for storing snacks and coupons.
And I do believe that other guitar player might have partly-inspired this song, because he sure looks like he could use a bathroom door with either symbol. Which is a good thing, really, because it means less wait-time and more clothing options. In fact, he might even be thinking of wardrobe expansion right now, because he doesn’t seem to be as invested in the acrobatics like the rest, just standing there in a Slash tribute.
Then Brandon runs over to start playing with one of the giant light boards, running his fingers along it in a manner that would raise eyebrows in church but is just fine out here in the dessert. Then he runs back to join the others as they do a bit where their silhouettes appear on the screen behind them, holding a pose that oddly makes me think of Depeche Mode. Not sure of the connection. Is anybody in this band on heroin?
There’s a brief moment when Brandon tries to squeeze his head for no apparent reason, so it’s probably something you have to see live onstage to really appreciate. But he segue-ways out of that questionable inspiration with a nice double-kick to the sand, flamenco style, accented by the nearby red guitar and what might be a rose flying across the screen. Or that might have been Kristin Chenoweth. I’ll check the credits.
It’s right about here that we first start seeing the James Bond go-go dancers in front of another light board that is spelling out the name of the band. (Just in case we didn’t know who they were, of course, not for any type of vanity thing.) We are only seeing little snippets of them for now, but I bring them up because they basically take over one whole segment later on and you need to be psychologically prepared for that.
And actually, at this point, you have basically been acquainted with all entertainment elements headed your way. The rest of the video is much of the same, with things randomized by the editing blender. Brandon loves him some light board, the gang boogies in the sand, and the giant video screen offers reverse images of the live action for those members of the viewing audience who took the red pill instead of the blue.
There’s some fun with editing and close-ups of Brandon’s face as he mugs it up, including a well-done sequence where he glances off to both sides repeatedly, indicating either discomfort with his current social situation or possibly a metabolic condition. (Or maybe he’s waiting for Kristin to swing back through.)
Fair to say that nothing prepared me for the image at 1:44. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Somebody decides we need a little more movement with the camera, so we do that for a while, with the lens whipping about and various instruments, body parts and cacti intruding on our peripheral vision. Then we get to the kind-of slow part of the song, so the frenetic pace slacks off and Brandon quits trying to electrocute himself on the light boards. Then we do the whump-whump thing and all hell breaks lose again.
We bring on the dancing girls, go-go that is, and they start gyrating in front of a light board with an intensity that you normally only associate with scientific experiments where atoms are split or new species are created by fevered renegades with amoral tendencies. But at least the girls seem to be having a good time, despite the tremendous amount of wattage behind them that is probably crisping the nethers.
And that’s how we wind things down. Everybody’s playing and dancing and creating moments that will soon be translated into blog posts. To bookend the artsy theme, the final shots have the live band performing in breaking daylight while the video shows the sun setting. Or something like that. I didn’t take either one of the pills, so I’m not really sure.
Wait. Where are the go-go girls? What’s happened to them? Did they spontaneously combust when Brandon hit that crazy-ass high note at the end? Poor things.
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