Friday, December 16, 2011

Red Hot Chili Peppers - “The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie”

  Note: Okay, folks, we’ve got another video that’s basically a live performance, so we’ll have to do the timestamp thing…

0:03  Overhead shot of the band setting up on top of a short building, with a crowd of people on the street below placing bets on who is going to fall off first.

0:06  Title card informs us that we’re in “Venice Beach, California”. Which means that there’s probably not a sober person in a 10-mile radius.

0:08  Anthony first performs the odd, twirling dance that will become his signature move for the rest of the video.

0:12  Not to be outdone, Flea breaks out his own dance, some kind of tribute to a chicken.

0:13  Another title card: “July 20, 2011”. Because if we didn’t know the exact date when this was filmed, we would be unable to fully enjoy the video, right?

0:18  Title card: “6:33p”. Okay, folks, I think we’re getting a little too detailed with the intel here, let’s move on.

0:23  Anthony finally starts singing, wearing a hat that says “OFF!”, and doing something interpretive with one hand. (Is he signaling that now is the time to bring out the giant banana?)

0:31  Two men are shown watching the performance while wearing matching outfits and holding parrots. No idea.

0:36  Incredibly stupid woman has chosen to sit on top of a high chain-link fence. One tiny gust of wind and home girl gonna bust her head.

0:42  Debut of the cowbell, the real reason we all came to the show.

0:46  Long-shot of one of the streets leading to the building, confirming that most people are not even paying attention. This is what happens when you let people stay out in the sun too long.

0:57  Flea impresses us with ability to play his instrument while walking backwards.

1:06  Flea attempts to swallow the cameraman, just to see if he can.

1:10  Random shot of two guys running through the crowd. We’ll assume that Justin Bieber has been spotted and an escape plan has been initiated.

1:11  There’s a look that will never make it to a Milan runway.

1:19  More random running. Changing possible cause to reactionary burritos purchased at questionable taco hut.

1:25  Man apparently has small tree growing out of his back, does not seem to be complaining.

1:29  Another woman scales the fence and bobs breasts to the beat. This is probably the most attention she will ever get for the rest of her life, hope she enjoyed it.

1:33  Drunk people on tiny balcony.

1:45  Anthony does extended version of his arm-waving dance, apparently really enjoying how his suit jacket is flapping in the wind. It’s the small things, people, it really is.

2:00  Possible body being thrown into ocean, shot too brief to fully confirm.

2:02  Proud woman displays tongue-piercing, people around her couldn’t care less.

2:09  Lost cast member of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert spotted on nearby roof.

2:11  Flea decides to sit on the very edge of the roof, over-enthusiastic crowd immediately forms mosh pit, clearly not understanding things like gravity and long-distance-falling can kill you.

2:20  Shot of young girl having no clue what is going on, but deciding to dance about it anyway.

2:40  Anthony performs dancing leap apparently learned whilst watching The Nutcracker as a child.

2:59  Flea is suddenly very tired, and decides to play his instrument and take a short nap at the same time.

3:03  Shot of happy women who obviously took advantage of happy-hour prices.

3:09  Anthony also sits on edge of building, but he has smartly chosen a spot that has a supporting ledge below it. (Hey, if the lead singer bites it, people gotta find a new gig, sayin.)

3:11  Man dressed as devil and carrying large cross dances on tennis court. (Is he a Republican running for office?)

3:17  More happy hour participants are very excited about waving their hands in the air.

3:20  It’s not only white men that can’t dance. Exhibit A.

3:35  Hey, is that Michael Moore on the far left, finding something on the floor that he can blame on corrupt government officials?

3:52  Flea, still trying to win the dance-off against Anthony, performs new minimalist choreography that involves only moving one shoulder.

3:55 More stupid people, this time in bleachers trying to do the wave with only two participants. They will go home dateless.

4:04  Flea is now humping the sky. Folks on adjoining roof appear to be both mortified and turned-on. Possible offering of flying panties, but it may have just been a passing seagull.

4:08  Cowbell returns, people offer praise to higher beings.

4:16  Overly-muscled man dances with cowboy hat, apparently does not own mirror.

4:22  As the song winds down, Anthony launches into final bid for dancing supremacy, with interesting, slow-paced duck walk across the roof, followed by more twirling. He is determined to win this thing, and goes on for quite some time.

4:42  Flea concedes defeat, secretly plots to be victorious on the next rooftop.

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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