Friday, May 13, 2011

Deep Blue Something - “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”

We start off with two butler guys dragging a fancy table down a busy street, then quickly cut to one of the band members strolling out of his hotel wearing nothing but a bathrobe. Interesting. To make things clearer, we see another band member riding a horse on the sidewalk of another busy street, a third band member glancing at his watch impatiently while he jaywalks and passersby act like they don’t see the camera, and finally we have the lead singer pretending to read a book on a street corner

I guess the book isn’t all that fascinating, because he decides to sing instead, which is a natural thing to do while surrounded by complete strangers carrying briefcases and attitudes. While he warbles, we get various shots of the rest of the band still heading to wherever they are going. So far, this hasn’t been the most suspense-filled video, and I briefly consider flossing my teeth, because you never know what you are going to find when you do THAT.

But I persevere, and my teeth remain possibly nasty as the guy in the bathrobe crosses an intersection (narrowly avoiding being rundown by a car, so at least there’s a small glimmer of excitement), the butlers still shoving that table along, the lead singer still holding that book even though we know he’s never going to actually read it, the guy with the watch now using his thumb to try and hitchhike (I’m thinking he just likes to hold his arm out for some twisted sexual reason), and about 4,000 New Yorkers wearing that expression they get when you dare to ask them where St. Patrick’s Cathedral might be.

Well, now, things are picking up as we find ourselves in a big field somewhere, with the band members having managed to locate their instruments, and they are all jumping about with manic glee as they perform the song for an audience of… well, nobody. (Why do some many video directors think these impromptu concert scenes are so riveting, having bands play in odd places like an abandoned gas station or a fertility clinic, with absolutely no one else around? And the bands act like they are having the best time ever, performing for no on. What exactly is the point? You couldn’t find a real stage?)

And we’re back in The City, as we see more butler guys rolling carts of fancy dinnerware along. (They look very pompous and I decide that I don’t like them, even if they haven’t said anything and come bearing food.) Oh, and the band has managed to find a flatbed truck, and they are wailing away on their instruments as the truck drives through the city canyons. (Gee, we’ve never seen THAT before either.)

Back to the lead singer lead singing by himself again, and we see the rest of the band members still working their way toward something that I’m probably not going to appreciate, if they ever get there. It just smells that way. (Why aren’t any authorities even TRYING to stop the one guy on a horse? Sure, it’s New York, where anything goes as long as you have a healthy credit line, but seriously. Who wants to see livestock on Fifth Avenue?)

Okay, this “hey, let’s drive around on a truck and sing!” storyline is dragging a bit, especially since that one guitar player is confused and thinks this is an AC/DC revival, whipping his head about and doing that thing where he bends over and stares at his feet because the fretwork action is so mind-blowing. Dude, you’re not allowed to be a head-banger when you sing adult contemporary pop. Geez.

Now we have the butlers setting up a nice dining table in front of Tiffany’s, with shiny platters and goblets and such, while pedestrians continue to stroll by nonchalantly as if people eat in the middle of the street in NYC all the time. The butlers are being very prissy with their duties, so I was right to not become friends with them in the first part of the video.

And we head back out to the abandoned field again, where the band is a rockin’ even though nobody came a knockin’. (Way off in the distance, I think I spy three tiny figures that might have showed up for the free concert but are now running for their lives. I understand their fear. That AC/DC wannabe guy is freaky. Didn’t people have access to medication in 1995?

The band plays for a while, but no one ever shows up. Poor guys.

Back to The City, where the band members arrive by their various means of transportation (foot, horse, thumb, not reading a book), waltzing up to the fancy dining table and taking a fancy seat. The butlers start hovering in that annoying way that service people have in expensive restaurants. (Really don’t care for that. If I’m going to pay fifty bucks for a stuffed-radish appetizer, you can stay the hell in the kitchen until I need you.)

And that’s really about it, with more scenes of the same. The band keeps playing in that Field of No Dreams, where if you sing it, they aren’t necessarily going to come. The band also plays some more on that truck without anybody falling and getting seriously hurt or tromped on by renegade band members insisting on riding Trigger on Broadway. And the band keeps eating caviar and mousse-based concoctions proffered by the Twirling Butlers from Yonkers.

(Side Note: I never realized how long this song was until now. Damn, people. How many times can you sing that same chorus without your tongue falling off out of sheer boredom?)

Anyway, singing, eating, twirling, blah blah blah, and we finally wrap things up with an actress sporting a vague Audrey Hepburn look and outfit, arriving in front of Tiffany’s so that we can see she has interesting glasses and apparently hasn’t eaten since the original movie came out. She takes off her glasses to eyeball the band members, then she and her lack-of-weight head into the store, where it is presumably more peaceful because people aren’t singing and there aren’t dining tables in the way.

Back outside, the band members finish their meal and then have a nice discussion with newly-arrived police officers about being a public nuisance and performing without a parade permit. The butlers pirouette and begin searching for other street picnics where they might be of some use…

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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