Sunday, November 14, 2010

Pitbull, T-Pain - “Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor)”

  Editor’s Note: This is another video set in a dance bar where nothing actually happens, so we’ll have to do the time-stamp thing again. Here we go…

0:01  Pitbull shows up, standing in what might be a police lineup in the year 2035.

0:04  T-Pain makes his debut in the same lineup, yelling out his name in case we weren’t sure who he was. He’s got on some glasses that would instantly kill anyone who dances too close.

0:07  Quick shot of some woman with an accusing finger.

0:09  Woman on the left has been placed in timeout for an undisclosed infraction.

0:14  Pitbull is apparently about to leave for a safari.

0:21  Patti LaBelle left her wig on the ceiling.

0:30  Accusing woman is startled that we are still in the room.

0:35  Accusing woman changes her tune and decides to have sex with us.

0:41  A giant hand almost crushes T-Pain. Good thing he had those glasses on to scare the hand away.

0:45  Pitbull uses his eyes to shoot laser beams at people who don’t understand his music. (Did I just hear something explode in the other room?)

0:54  Is Pitbull pregnant?

0:59  Okay, maybe it’s not Patti LaBelle’s wig after all.

1:01  Some audience members are confused and think this is a Duran Duran concert in 1985.

1:07  Accusing Woman has Pitbull’s head growing out of her side, which can’t be very comfortable.

1:11  T-Pain has a personal religious moment.

1:18  Pitbull is having some balance issues.

1:28  Pitbull has lost his glasses somewhere. Can he sing without them?

1:40  On the right, Eva Longoria makes a wrong turn and stumbles into the nightclub.

1:42  T-Pain really wants us to stop, in the name of love.

1:45  Or he wants us to fly like a bird. He needs to make up his mind.

1:46  Gratuitous booty shot.

1:51  Gratuitous crotch shot.

1:54  Gratuitous boobie shot. (Look, I can only work with what I’m given.)

2:09  Pitbull is waiting for Scotty to beam him off the Enterprise.

2:13  Pitbull is waiting for someone to throw panties on stage. Trouble is, nobody’s wearing any, so it’s gonna be a long wait.

2:16  Futuristic yoga.

2:21  A radiation blast happens for no apparent reason.

2:23  Is that a giant spider?

2:30  T-Pain would also like to leave the Enterprise. Where the hell is Scotty? Is he drunk again?

2:25  A former flight attendant conveniently points out the exit doors. (Some skills you never lose.)

2:43  Pitbull loses control of his lower jaw.

2:46  Bob Marley’s former DJ is in da house.

2:54  Somebody wearing boots with enormous heels decides to mace the entire audience. They don’t seem to notice.

2:56  Accusing Woman gets her hand stuck in her hair.

3:07  Lady Gaga has arrived to reclaim her planet.

3:12  Pitbull is looking at a row of chopsticks.

3:16  In the lower left, that guy from “Full House” shows up to the wrong set.

3:24  Pitbull is back in the police lineup. No one is surprised.

Fade to black

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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