Sunday, May 27, 2012

Ellie Goulding - “Lights”

  We start off with some random lights twinkling somewhere, then we start getting some blurry images of what might be artsy images of someone taking a shower and really enjoying the wetness. Then somebody finally finds the focus knob on the camera and Ellie snaps into view, standing on a stage, holding a tambourine, and shaking her hips like an overworked combine. Girl definitely had some coffee this morning.

  Next we have a close-up of Ellie (think “Kesha without the grunge patina”) as she and her gloved hands start singing the song, with a convenient wind-machine blowing her golden locks around in case you just want to watch that instead of actually listen to the lyrics or anything. Ellie is still insistent on thrusting those hips, although not quite as fiercely, so she might have some issues that we can explore later. She also likes turning her head to the side and jutting her chin like she just had a chaste orgasm. (Maybe it’s all that wind.)

  And she sure loves her tambourine, shaking and waving it with enough exuberance that small children could easily burst into tears. Ellie’s one busy little dynamo, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she surpasses solar power as a viable option for renewable energy for the planet. Somebody ratchets up that wind machine to keep pace with Ellie, and there’s so much turbulence in the air that somebody should probably issue a hurricane warning.

  Then we cut to the first scenes of what might be a rave party, but the bouncer at the door must be really strict since Ellie seems to be the only one there. Whatever this place is, it’s apparently very important that Ellie stand perfectly still in a dramatic pose while odd digital graphics that are clearly drug-inspired swirl around her. Then we have some mess where Ellie appears to be trapped in a circle of red laser beams, where the only way to escape is by dancing and waving your arms.

  Meanwhile, we keep checking in on the original Ellie, who continues to dance on that one stage with the wind machine and the fetish tambourine. While we were gone, she apparently learned some new choreography, some moves that require her to do everything she can to make her hair flip around with even more firepower. To make sure that we see her new mad skillz, the director repeats the shots where she appears the most twirly.

  And with that, ladies and gentlemen, you have the basic rundown of the rest of the video: Ellie on the main stage where she is singing and playing a hand-held instrument that you can’t actually hear in the song, and Ellie playing “statues” at the members-only rave party where somebody’s graphics program exploded all over the dance floor. In both locations, Ellie is very proud of the fact that she has a pelvis.

  Oh wait, I just lied. Here comes a third Ellie, this one wearing a severely-modified tuxedo and banging on a set of drums as if she’s calling out to her ancestors to resurrect themselves and come help her out with some pressing issue. (Maybe the ghost of Great Granny Goulding can help Ellie settle down a little.) Whatever she’s doing, it’s still very important that she whip her hair around like an organic weapon.

  Then the montage kicks back in and we’re jumping all over the place, with the various Ellies doing whatever they need to do to get to the end of the video. Sadly, Rave Ellie is still all alone at her little flashing disco, so at one point she decides to clone herself so the hyperactive graphics will look even more mystifying and cool. Oh, and there’s a bit where one of the Ellies tries to do a backbend but apparently gets confused.

  After a while, all this mess, though colorful, gets to be a bit boring, so somebody hands another Ellie a torch thingy so she can swing it around and act like she’s on Survivor. But just like everything else, Ellie goes at with an eye-opening amount of gusto and twirls that torch with such determination that the entire soundstage is going to burn down if somebody doesn’t hand the girl some tranquilizers. That version of Ellie soon disappears from the montage, probably for insurance reasons.

  So that leaves us with just the three (or maybe it’s four?) Ellies as they cavort about in a frenzy of musicality and fashion. We don’t see much new, and I’m sad to report that the ghost spirits never show up despite the dedicated drum-pounding. But at least Ellie looks cute the entire time and never once does she smudge her lipstick despite the extreme athleticism and romping about.

  We eventually start to wind the whirlwind images down, but not before Torch Ellie escapes from her temporary holding cell in the Ladies’ Room and lurches back in front of the camera right when we were supposed to be focusing on some pretty lights for the final fade. Instead, we appear to have a small explosion as Survivor Ellie presumably electrocutes something and the screen goes blank.

  Hmmm. Hope everybody was okay….

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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