Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Justin Bieber - “Boyfriend”
We start out with images of a young woman wearing vicious-looking rings on her hand that could probably slice you open, followed by some mess about metal gears that are turning, melting icicles, and close-ups of Justin’s face. Sadly, and maybe it’s just the lighting, but he appears to be wearing a nice shade of pink lipstick. Justin, or somebody, really needs to be making smarter choices when it comes to image design.
Justin starts the rapping part of the song, with his face shoved against the side of Death-Ring Girl. It’s actually a little creepy, but she seems fine with it and even starts writhing a bit to indicate that she really enjoys people vocalizing in her hair. Meanwhile, we’re also getting jump shots of wet stereo speakers, Justin doing some carefully staged choreography with his hands, and some confirmation that Justin has finally moved on from that questionable haircut.
Next we have two young lasses sitting in a fancy sports car that they clearly would have no idea how to drive, both of them gazing at Justin performing on a wireless phone, their faces aglow with the fires of his sexual prowess. As they study his moves with sun-drenched lust and Justin moves into the falsetto part of the song, the video suddenly goes black and the music cuts off.
Then we fire things back up again with a giant title credit for Justin, in case you forgot who you were watching during that odd two-second break, followed by the song title and an announcement that the festivities have been directed by “X”. Maybe there really is a director out there that goes by this moniker, but my immediate suspicion is that somebody didn’t want their actual name on this thing. Uh oh.
Now we have Justin and some other folks parking their sports cars in some place where people go to hang out when there’s nothing on TV. The guys are all wearing leather jackets and attitudes, and the girls are all barely wearing anything. We get jump shots of various youngsters as they lounge in and around the fancy cars, with the guys striking poses and the girls pushing out their glossy lips to let us all know how extremely heated they happen to be.
Suddenly, in a strongly ill-advised decision, we see Justin and several of the partiers breaking out in a spontaneous but carefully-planned dance, where he doesn’t seem to know quite what to do. Even the anonymous director realizes that maybe the world isn’t ready for that just yet, and we soon cut away to more moist lips, people riding skateboards in a violent manner, and Justin safely tucked back in that car where he doesn’t have to move his feet.
He stays there and sings for a while, as several nearby nymphets gaze at him with voracious intensity. Eventually one of the young ladies, probably nominated because she’s wearing the skimpiest pair of cut-offs, sashays up to Justin and they immediately being pawing on one another. To make sure that we understand exactly where this might be going, we get shots of Justin revving his engine and doing donuts in the parking lot.
I guess everyone else is really happy that the two of them will eventually be mating, because the dancing starts up again, with various folks strutting around and executing street-based moves with lots of swagger and little basis on the actual rhythm of the song. Oh, and everyone manages to remain incredibly horny, because it says so in the “script” and they all want to get paid at the end of the day.
Some new girl drives up and gets out of her car and, based on the condition of her torn clothing, she may have just returned from fighting a really-irritated grizzly bear. She must not have suffered too greatly, because she immediately tries to dominate the dancing activities. It’s not clear if she’s also vying for Justin’s attention of if she’s just one of those girls who can’t stand it when people aren’t watching her move.
At some point somebody must have handed Justin a guitar, because he’s suddenly playing one in some of the shots. In other scenes, he’s nuzzling Cut-Off Chick’s neck and encouraging her to use her booty in an aggressive manner. She’s more than happy to oblige for a while, then she can’t resist the lure of the dance floor and pulls Justin out into the middle of that mess for some line dancing.
And apparently somebody sent the right memos to the right people, because now we can see that Justin has a bit more polish to his steps. In fact, Cut-Off Girl gets twirled out of camera range for a while so we can focus on Justin gettin’ down with his bad self. (There are a few random shots of some new girl sitting in a car off to one side, really using her acting skills to appear both trampy and stoned at the same time. It’s not clear why it’s important that we see her, other than to make us wonder how she got in the car with all that mess of hair she’s got.)
And that basically wraps it up for the plot points of the video. People continue to dance, Justin continues to strum, Cut-Off Girl continues to lustily gloat that she done bagged the big prize at this here impromptu dance-off, and much of the gathered crowd manages to break into little sidebar couples, where they gaze yearningly at one another and lightly sweat.
Speaking of the dancing, that part does get a bit more physical, as folks ramp it up and really start aiming for the crazy-eyed moves. This acceleration in activity is probably due to the fact that the sun is going down and a lot of these kiddos probably have curfews, so they better hurry up and get to the good stuff before Momma comes out on the front porch and hollers for them to get their asses inside.
This last bit of dance fever has more of the synchronized dancing where everyone magically knows all of the choreography, probably because Justin is wearing really fancy shoes that the camera makes sure to advertise so you can order some after the video ends. And the video finally does, with a last lingering shot of Justin clutching both his guitar and the girl while they sit on the trunk of a vintage car that real people can’t actually afford…
Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.