We start out with
the video showing a black screen longer than you normally see one, to the point
that I’m thinking “wow, this is a seriously minimalist video”. Then we get the
image of a craggy rock wall alongside an unknown highway (a statement about the
House of Representatives?), followed by the words “The Road to Red Rocks”. That
could mean anything from a cheap Western movie to a porn site on the web. I
have no idea what’s about to happen.
Then we’re
suddenly at a concert venue, and it doesn’t take long to realize that Red Rocks
refers to that outdoor amphitheater thing in Colorado, a way cool place that I’ve
always wanted to visit. (Not that I’m trying to make this all about me, but
somehow I usually manage to do so in the end, so I might as well get there right
off the bat.)
I’m hoping this
doesn’t mean this is one of those videos where we just watch the band play on
the stage, because although concert videos can be fun for the dedicated fan,
they suck mightily when you’re trying to write snarky comments in a blog post.
There’s nothing funny about people just standing there and singing. I need me
some cray-cray people running around in a nightclub while wearing bling and
having sex with supermodels. That I
can work with.
Anyway, the band
members kick off the song, with all 74 of them banging on their guitars and banjos
and… other instruments with strings, I was never a whiz in music class. (And I
had no idea that Mumford had so many sons, there are people all over that
stage.) One of them even hoists what looks like a bass violin (whatever it is,
it’s big) over his head, so we’ll have to assume that energy-drink consumption
took place in the green room.
Then we hit a
slow part of the song, which allows the cameraman to feel safe enough to give
us close-ups of the folks doing the singing. (Hey, that one guy is pretty hot.
I’m suddenly a little bit more invested in the goings-on.) After we’ve met and
become friends with everybody, the camera then turns to the surroundings,
letting us know that, yep, this place is truly surrounded by red rocks. Big-ass rocks. As in, if one of these
things fell on your house, an entire zip code would be wiped out.
We focus back on
the stage, where it basically becomes clear that everybody in the band gets to
sing at least bits of the song. That’s nice. This keeps people from becoming
bitter and writing tell-all books at a really inappropriate time. Then we go
back to a wide-shot of the audience, with the rocks and everything, and I have
to pause the video for a minute to check out travel packages on the web because
this place is definitely now on my bucket list. Mmm hmm.
I come back to
the band launching into another fast part of the song, where they’re all
plucking strings like Thanksgiving
dinner is late and Granny’s pissed that nobody’s prepped the turkey. A
shot of the audience reveals that nearly all of them are jumping up and down
with their hands in the air. This is refreshing and shows that true fans really
appreciate good music. Unlike the audiences at “pre-packaged band-of-the-day”
concerts, where 10% of the audience is even bothering to look at the stage and
the other 90% are trying to smoke weed without getting caught.
Slow part of the
song again, with the close-ups of strumming and sweat. These guys are really
intense, burning with their talent. Or maybe it’s just those enormous lights on
the sides of the stage, soaking the men in tremendous wattage, making it look
like the final scenes of Close Encounters
of the Third Kind, when we learned that Richard Dreyfuss wasn’t crazy after
all, despite the thing with the mashed potatoes.
More shots of the
audience members , bouncing with a frenzy like they’re on the Ellen DeGeneres
show and they just found free toaster ovens under their seats.
Slow tempo again,
with the heartfelt and emotional vocals, and if you listen really closely, you
can hear several folks in the audience apparently having orgasms over the
poetry and beauty of it all. Or maybe that’s just Nicki Minaj in the manager’s
office, making a fuss about not getting to be a “featured artist” on one of the
band’s singles. Not sure.
We eventually get
back to another upbeat part of the song, and the audience once again goes into
a frenzy of passion and bouncing. (Well, at least the audience members who haven’t
already climaxed and are now smoking a cigarette and gazing up at the stars,
all fuzzy and warm.) It’s quite pleasing to see so many people really invested
in a band, but part of me also wishes people in America could get this excited
about participating in the election process, and maybe we wouldn’t have so many
zombies in Washington.
Then we launch
into the hyper-aggressive section of the song, where the band essentially
transforms to another plane of existence as they pluck and pound and emote,
sweat flying and vocals harmonizing. This allows the audience members who haven’t
yet clawed the ceiling with their toenails to do so, in a rousing Big O that
surely registered on the Richter scale at a nearby monitoring facility. (Even
Nicki Minaj, still ranting in the manager’s office, suddenly feels butterfly
wings in a special place.)
The video ends
with the band thanking the audience. The audience responds by throwing their
phone numbers, panties, and paternity test results at the stage…
Click Here to Watch
this Video on YouTube.
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